So, What's Next?

As I come to close to the end of my short term assignment, people have been asking me what will I be doing next. To be honest, I really am not too sure. Other than the few trips that I have planned, the short term plan that I have planned, I have no idea.

Two months spent in Bangkok has been a good experience. It has given me time, and the push for me to decide on something I have been wondering for a while. I am very excited for what will come next should I successfully execute my plan. No doubt I will question my decision some time in the future. I hope I will continue to remember my present feeling and my excitement. I understand the need to be realistic but I have been realistic for so many years. Can't I afford to dream for a little while?

Let's take the first step, and figure things out as I go. I've been saying that I want to do this for so long. I am finally going to do it soon!

The Alchemist

So, I finally got around to reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I know this book has been pretty popular for a while and it's probably taken me a little too long to finally pick it up. When I first saw this book in my brother's room I thought it was some sci-fi Final Fantasy'ish kinda book. You can't really blame me... There was a character in that game who was an Alchemist... And I was probably playing FF at that time... Lol.

Anyway, I came across this title again a couple of months ago and it has been in my to-read list since.  I can understand why this book has been such a success. It's simple, yet inspirational. Many quotable passages, and prompts you to think. The book touches on many themes. The themes that I liked were living in the present, and having the courage to go after your dream/destiny/Personal Legend.

I like the idea that everyone has their own Personal Legend to fulfil but many along the way will end up not fulfilling because... of the many reasons why you don't end up getting your shit together. But if you do decide to go all out to fulfil this Personal Legend of yours, the world will conspire in helping you achieve it. That idea gives you hope. And we all need a little bit of hope don't we.

The book also talk about reading 'signs' and listening to your heart. I think, this book is a sign telling me that I need to take time out, and listen to what my heart is telling me...

Something to ponder on for a bit...

Recent Change...

It's been yet another year and a bit since I last wrote. I have been way too lazy. ^^" Though it doesn't make too much of a difference to many people whether I write or not, it's more of something that I need to do for myself. Expressing my thoughts here provides a form of relief since it's normal for most of my thoughts and feelings to get bottled up somewhere and it gets released in an unhealthy way...

Anyway, as a form of update, I moved from KL to Hong Kong in January. The most common question that I get asked these days is "How are you settling?". My most common answer is "Ok, I guess. The space and crowd is something that would take me a while to get used to". For those who don't know me well, I grew up in a place where space and crowd was never an issue. Instead, space was abundant and the human population is less than the sheep's population (something that many people laughed at as well). Why oh why did I move again? The grass is always greener on the other side I guess. It's a journey which I set myself up to take. If I am lucky, I will eventually find out how my dots are connected.

My recent move has had its challenges. Not only because of the space and all. It's also due to the job role, the environment, the whole package. It has prompted a question which I have been placed in a box and hid it somewhere. It's the age old question. What makes you happy? What are you passionate about? I've been telling myself these questions shouldn't be too hard to answer. At the end of the day, no one knows you better than yourself, right? So I thought anyway. I have some vague idea. But I've never pursued these vague ideas of mine. I get lazy, and then I take the easy way out by forgetting about it. It's a cycle that I really need to break. I can't continue to give myself these excuses, fluffy ideas. It will eventually be too late one day.

I don't want to end up spending time on things that don't mean much to me at all. Days are long but the years are short. Before you know it, it's over. I didn't give myself a new years resolution at the beginning of this year. Today, I'm giving myself one. I want to stop going around in this circle that I'm always in. Let's see how things pan out...

The End of 2012

So the world didn't end. =p
I'm quite glad as there are still so many things to be done.
So many more places to see, food to eat, people to be with...

Every year around this time when I reflect what has happened for the past year I would usually surprise myself. Only because 80% of the things I thought would or would not happen usually does not happen or happens. Though it is annoying, it keeps things interesting I guess.

But I am always very glad for all that is still around me. The friends, the family, the experience.
I don't know how I would have survived the year if it weren't for the people around me.
So thank you to all who stuck around and those who didn't and fell off the grid, thank you to you too.
You guys make things that much clearer for me.

2012 was filled with all kinds of emotions.
I am happy and sad for it to end.
But all things have to come to an end.

I hope 2013 will be an even better year.
I hope those whom I love will still be around me.
Here's to 2012, a year filled with learning experiences.
And here's to 2013, another year filled with laughter and awesomeness.

"你并不是只属于你自己的
这世上没有任何东西是只属于自己的
每个人总是会和他人相关，
共有着某些东西 所以，
无法自由随意 但也正因为如此 生活才有趣，
才悲伤，才如此惹人爱怜" - xxxHolic

A few years ago, I read that from a comic book.
At that time, I didn't think too much of it.
But now, when I read it again, it gives it a whole different meaning.
You would think if it's yours, it wouldn't affect others.
You should be able to freely do what ever that is supposedly yours.
But in fact, that's just some kind of illusion you've been living in.
Every thing is connected someway or another.
You will never be totally free of doing what you want to do.
But true, as the phrase also rightly points out.
Life is interesting, sad, lovable because of this.
That is also how we are connected to each other.
And we will never be totally alone...

Once again...

Once again, I've forgotten about you, my poor blog. ^^""""
If not because the group mentioned about blogs tonight I would have forgotten about your existence for even longer... XD
I'm sorry (it now seems like an annual event that I apologise to you now...)!!!

It's been a year since I last updated you.
It seems every time I update you some kindda dramatic event has happened to me.
Sighs. I seem to be caught up in some kindda drama one way or the other very often.
I used to think it's not that bad to have some drama in life...
But I think I need to retract that thought.
It gets a little tiring...

There was a major change in my life recently.
A change that I didn't think would happen if you had asked me four years ago.
A change I didn't think I would be capable of handling.
A change that will always tug my heart slightly when I think about it.

But the change had to come.
The change had to happen.
Because the problem wasn't viewed as an issue when it was first raised.
It wasn't perceived as a serious thing till it went down the place of no return...
When we finally realised, it was already too late.

Though there is a part of me who would very much like to undo this change.
It does not appear to be viable at this point in time.
But hey, I have other things to be grateful about.
We may not be together as previously planned, we are at least together in another form.
And I believe this is something that can't be changed easily.
With that, I can at least have some kind of comfort that not all is lost.

这个世界上没有偶然，有的只是必然。
I still very much believe in that.
If this had to happen, there must be a reason.
Because it is not by coincidence. It had to happen.
For what reason? No clue right now.
But the only way to find out is to move forward.
Will I like what I find out? I sure very much hope so...
I will try my best to meet it with a smile...

Life is indeed interesting isn't it?
Nothing ever works out as planned.
I may get to somewhere I am supposed to go.
But the journey there will never be as expected or planned.
Guess all I can do is just enjoy the ride as best as I can.

五年前 vs 今天

现在的感觉就像当初第一次到KL的时候，一个人在hostel发呆的时候。
不同的是，那是五年前，在KL的hostel.
五年后，我在槟城的hotel.
虽然地点换了，感觉还是一样。
还是会觉得有点彷徨,害怕,不知道前面的路会是怎样.
可是人生不会因为这样而停下来。
我只能向前走。
不愿意向前走也只能继续走。

我想，我应该是很幸运吧。
很少人可以一直换地方住。
可是，有时会想，如果不需要再继续搬该多好？
唉。人就是犯贱的。
有的时候就不会珍惜。
没有的时候就会投诉说为什么会没有。
^^""

人生真的有太多意想不到的东西.
五年前觉得会发生的东西很多都没发生.
没想过会发生的东西竟然发生了.
虽然有些时候会伤心，不想再向前走。
可是，当一件开心的是发生的时候，全部之前不开心的事都会觉得其实不是很伤心。
因为，all things happen for a reason.
如果伤心的事没发生，开心的事可能就不会发生。
人生就是因此而有趣。
是吧？

五年前不知道前面的路会怎样，我微笑的面对。
I survived it.
五年后的现在，我还是不知道前面的路会是怎样，
我还是会继续微笑的面对，
因为我知道我一定能survive.

啰嗦着。。。。

最近的生活还蛮健康的。
早睡早起，起床后就看报纸。
我以前都不看的！！
可是我爸一直叫我读。。。说我就快要踏入社会了。。。
应该关心一下世界在发生什么事情。。。

很多时候。。。不是不要看。。。
是看完报纸之后都会心烦意乱。
看完后的15分钟内一定会在向着世界怎么那么乱啊！
是这个世界没有什么喜事可报呢。。。
还是报纸就是只写这些东西？

真的。当学生的时候比较幸福。呵呵。
但是，我也明白我们都需要长大。
慢慢的，需要背负更多的责任。
人生就是这样。
如果没有那么多要求就不需要那么辛苦吧。。。
但人性如此。。。人就是贪心一点的！！！

想赚多一点钱，买大件一点的房子，换辆更贵的车，买多一双鞋。
但是活着真的应该为这些目标而活吗?
不想为这么肤浅的原因而活可是我好像做不到。
很多人都做不倒不是吗？
身边很多例子都是这个样子。
如果不这样子应该为了什么而活呢？

每个人都有自己的目标，可是ultimately那个目标都是想让自己的生活好过一点吧？
是我们太不会知足了呢？还是这就是我们应该做的东西？
唉。。。我想我真的是有太多时间去想东想西了。
不现在想我以后应该也会想的。
可能我到人生的另一个阶段的时候就会有别的想法。
现在想太多也没用吧。

我这个想太多的缺点的却需要改一下。
有个人跟我说过，“还没发生的东西你取担心干嘛呢？等它真的发生了你再来想办法来解决不是更好吗？”
我也知道。。。我想我只是怕如果真的有一天意想不到的事情发生后我会接受不了。
现在想的话可能还可以有些心理准备。。。
可是哦。。。我很多时候担心的事情都没发生过。
就是说，我之前所担心的都是浪费力气 ^^""
我弟有次跟我说了一大堆statistic, 我也忘了大部分的他说的话。。。
但重点是，人很多时候担心的事都不会发生的。

把现在的看到，发生着，可以做到的事情做好比较重要。
让在担心不知道会不会发生的事情的力气收着，
等真的发生后再想办法去解决，
真的会比较好吧。。。

加油吧

Bits and pieces...

As people around me start to get serious about job hunting, interviewing, receiving offer letters, I can't help but start to worry about my future (again). I know I probably think too much. Jon is always telling me I need to have more confidence in myself. But I really can't help to worry sometimes...

What if I can't get the thing that I really want?
What if I end up in some really crappy job?
What if they don't want me?
What if I can't...

Ughh.. All these negative energies sucks.

What if I turn everthing around?
What if I Can get the thing that I really want?
What if I end up doing some really awsome job?
What if I don't want them?
What if I can...

I'm trying to think positively... But it gets a bit hard sometimes. I guess I'll just have to try my best. If I do get rejected maybe it is just a blessing in disguise. I'm just not meant to do that particular job. Maybe... I'll keep my hopes up. Fingers crossed. I should probably just go with the flow. What's yours will come to you eventually...

Onto another matter.

I've always known relationship with other people will always be one of the greatest challenge in life. Be it friendships, love, school mates, family, and in the not too distant future - collegues. Something will always go wrong somewhere. I've always closed up infront of those whom I'm not too close with and say what comes to mind with those whom I'm very close with. But lately I'm starting to think maybe it's wrong.

It is possible that I say too much of what I think sometimes. And sometimes when too much gets said, misunderstandings occurs. I should've learnt this lesson long ago but I don't seem to learn. It's time to learn.

Maybe I've been too harsh on those whose ways I don't agree on. Not everyone read the world the same way as I do and I shouldn't expect others to do so. Everyone has their own way of living and I should respect that.

There are certain events that has occured in my life that I never fully understood what happened. If I have enough courage one day, I might go up to that event and get the answer I seek for. Hopefully...

Pictures!!! (Yess... Random)
It's been awhile since I last posted any pictures on my blog.
Here are a few not so recent events.

Shuo Mei, my buddy from econometrics left for Sydney few months ago =(. It's kindda weird how our friendship started. The reason I talked to her in the first place was because I noticed her econometrics text book was different from mine. ^^" Talk about the nerdiest opening. "Hi, are you doin econometrics as well? ETC2410? Why's your text book different from mine? Did you get it here?" Lolz. Nywayz, SM wasn't an econometrics major when I first met her. I pulled her into majoring econometrics with me.... ^^" [I needed a friend ;p]

SM (I don't think you know I have a blog...), good luck with studying k? I'll miss you and contact me when you go back to M'sia k?




SH, one of my F-Gang buddy went back to Malaysia last month. Even though I'll see her soon enough I can't help but miss her heaps. It really isn't the same without you here. =( [Airports make people cry]



Mr Ng has been bugging me about St Kilda for a long time. So we finally went. It was a nice day but it was quite cold... Jon said the beach is not as nice as Brighton and I have to agree. Neverthelss, it was a good day =) The cafe we went to wasn't that great though. Will try another one next time.






Poser pic ;p. By the way, I had a haircut last week. And to your disappointment, I did not cut it short :p. I still like my long hair. Maybe when I get back to Malaysia?

Yes... That's Mr Ng's peace sign at the back...

Till next time! Take care peeps XD

For you...

NOte: Eh... 这一篇会比较肉麻... 所以如果不想起鸡皮疙瘩的话就不要再继续读下去k? 不要说我没警告过哦 ;p









时间过得很快，转眼之间已经过了一年。
每当我们想回这一年发生过的事情都会觉得很不可思议。
这就是所谓的缘分吗？
应该是吧...

跟你在一起的这段日子是很幸福开心的。
虽然刚开始的时候有点难可是还是很庆幸我们坚持下来了。
谢谢你。

谢谢你
一直都在
照顾我
容忍我所有怪怪的脾气
疼我
爱我。

谢谢你为我做的所有东西。

你总是
在我不开心的时候弄我笑
在我开心的时候陪我一起开心
在我不安的时候用尽所有办法让我放心
在我迷惘的时候开导我。

我知道我很多时候都在欺负你
可是我真的很喜欢看你的反应。

我知道我很多时候都让你很不安
对不起...
我会尽量改的。

我知道我们还有很长的路要走。
希望我们可以坚持下去
让我们有很多个十年后的十年。

很少写那么肉麻的东西。。。
不过，最重要的是...
我想说，我爱你^^

Reflection time

Is it me... Or has this semester gone by wayyyyyyyyyyy too quickly? The usual trend for me is that it flies by during the first half of the semester, then it'll pass by like a snail during the middle, and before I realise, it's time for exams~
The difference with this semester and the last 5 semesters that I've been through is that it does not feel like there is a middle phase where I wish time would go a bit faster. I'm flying through this semester and it is freaking me out.

The cause of this may be due to:
---> It's my last semester
---> Assignments are distributed evenly across
---> Too much fun? <-- [This can't be true...]
--->Since it is the last semester... The things I am studying now are somehow a bit easier to understand?
---> Different approach to living? [Huh?]
---> No free days off uni [Less time to dream]
---> Less dramas therefore less things to worry about?

There are many possibilities and all of them probably contribute a little to why time is flying by faster this time around.

Sighs. I'm having one of those reflective momments and it's getting me a lil emo.

Bahhh.

Time to go to bed =P

Ciaoz ppl~

Our other half

I found something interesting while reading Haruki Murakami's Kafka an the Shore.


According to Aristophanes in Plato's The Banquet, in the ancient world of legend, there were three types of people. We weren't simply male or female but one of three types: Male/Female, Female/Female, and Male/Male. Each person was made out of the components of two people. But one day, God took a knife and cut everyone in half down the middle. So after that the world was just divided into male and female. The consequence of this was that people ended up spending their time running around looking for their other halves.

It's a nice way of thinking why we crave looking for that someone that completes us. We are all looking for that someone that was part of us. We often stumble along the way, find the wrong half, and encounter all sorts of problems. But I guess, while all these are happening, your other half is trying to look for you too. So somewhere, one day, two of you will eventually meet up. And that day is when you feel that completeness that you've been searching for.

The uncertainties...

Do you wonder about your future?
I'm sure everyone wonder about it once in a while...
I've been wondering about it more often lately.
Most probably due to the fact that I'm graduating soon and everyone is talking about getting a job, where they're gonna live, etc.

I get pretty worried about it...
I worry if I'll make the 'right' choice.
What's right and what's wrong?

This is a turning point of my life.
I made a turning point 4 years ago and I need to make another one soon.
I often wonder what would've happened if I never turned 4 years ago.
Which road would've been a smoother ride?
I'm certain that I didn't regret turning.

What about this turn that I'm going to make soon?
These turns seem to get harder and harder.
Evaluation and analysing seems to get more complex every turn.

I guess I'll just have to live my life the best thatt I can no matter where I turned to.
Choose the best path that appears to be the best?
I hope that I'll be able to make that choice...

Life

I’ve been so out of books to read lately that I started to read some of the self-help books that my sister left behind. One that I’ve just finished reading was about worrying over the little things in life. It talks about the things we blow up that are out of proportion, the things that we make a big deal of when it really isn’t that important.

Most of the time, we focus on what we want instead of what we have. We want a bigger car, bigger house, and more money. More of this, more of that. It never stops. As soon as we get a bigger toy, we think about getting the next bigger one. We think that our desire will stop as soon as we get what we want but as soon as we got what we wanted we want something that is better. Our desires for something better will never stop. This is when we forget to truly appreciate what we have. When was the last time you appreciated that you have a car, have a job, or appreciating your other half’s good quality? Once you start complaining about what you have, you’ll never learn to appreciate. If you continue to you’ll never see all the wonderful stuff life has to offer. Thus, you won’t fully enjoy life. Yea?

This is something I have to learn. Like most people, I have lots and lots of desires. I want more clothes, more blings, a better laptop, more money to spend, more of everything. I know that all these desires will never stop. I know by looking at my closet. ^^” Once I’ve got what I wanted I’ll think about the next top that I would buy next. At this rate, nothing will ever be enough for me… It really is time to start thinking about what I already have instead of what I want. I don’t want to end up like most grownups where they complain about how unsatisfied they are about their life… :p No offence to anyone…

One more thing that I wanna make note of is a very obvious fact.
We are all human. We all make mistakes.
We really should be more forgiving to ourselves.
We did not come into this world with a manual. We will definitely make a lot of mistakes along the way. We’ll forget things, lose ourselves, make a big fuss over nothing, make a wrong decision, say the wrong things at the wrong time, mess everything up, etc.

I know that I’ve been very unforgiving to myself over a long period of time. From time to time I would remind myself about all the stuff that went wrong. I would blame myself for the mistakes and I would beat myself over it. I still do actually. It’s a complete waste of time. I know it, and you know it as well. We really should a bit more forgiving. Especially towards ourselves… Most of us, try our best in everything we do. It’s not like we deliberately wanted to make that mistake… So once we’ve made a mistake, we shouldn’t drown in it. Just pull yourself out of it, forgive yourself, and learn from it. By drowning in it, we will never move forward. I know that I’ve spent many sleepless nights thinking about my mistake and telling myself I could’ve done better. I can’t turn back time so there isn’t much point telling myself that… I’m still trying to learn from it and move away from it.

Life is meant to be hard. It’s unfair, cruel, and a big hassle. But… I guess that’s what makes it more interesting. Can you imagine a perfect, happy life? I think I’ll probably die of boredness and emptiness…. ^^”
Sorry peeps. I don’t know what got into me to write this long post. Just felt like sharing some thoughts…:p

Moving away from this topic we call life…… I’m going back to Melbourne next week. Three months have gone by so quickly. >< But, in a strange way, I’m kindda looking forward to going back. I know that I will be feeling the stress that I hate very soon but… I’m still kindda looking forward to uni again. I’m curious about the things that I will encounter this year. I’ve grown to accept that the most unexpected things will always happen. Things just do not go as planned most of the time. I’m just hoping that there will be less drama… But then again… This is what makes life interesting yea? ;p

你的素心

最近读的一本书-你的素心。
一直以来我都有都亦舒写的书。一直觉得她写的书都蛮有意思。
最近读的这本我不会说我很喜欢。不过我觉得它的意思不错。。。

很多时候我们都想要赚多点钱，买好点的车，住大一点的房子。
找另外一办想要找漂亮点的，好一点的，温柔点的。。。
到后面，我们才发现到，在我们身后，没那么帅，那么有钱的那个才是最好，最适合我们。
我们总盲盲的追求更好的东西。是不是忽略了身边那简单但是很美好的事情呢?

女人心 海底针 ;p

我的这个假期真的事unproductive的到了一个极点。
工又不做，只在家里吃吃喝喝。
^^""
我爸妈应该在想怎么回生到一个酱的女儿。
呵呵呵。
不过以后也没什么机会了啦。
出来做工后哪里还有人给我这样咧。。。

不过呢。
还是很郁闷。
我现在身在我的渔村里面。
渔村里真的没什么东西可以做。
我在渔村里的朋友真的没几个。
有的哪几个好的要不有女友了，要不就出去读书了。
说到这里我就更加郁闷了。
我的那些所谓好朋友全部都是有异性没人性的！！！[好好。。我承认我也有点啦。。^^"]
女朋友听到是要跟我出去更不给！
我现在是会咬人吗？会把你们的男朋友抢掉吗？
我什么都没做过啊。真无辜。
跟朋友聚一聚也要跟女朋友求了一阵子才可以出。
要什么10点之前回家，要报告啦，一大堆的。
要必要那么严格吗？？我们可是认识了一大半辈子了！！！
如果不放心我叫朋友的女朋友也一起来啊。
女朋友又说不要！
真搞不懂女人的心态。

女人啊。
为什么要把自己的男朋友管到那么严呢？
等有一天他们受不了的时候你又在那里哭说“你不爱我了！！！”
那时候你就欲哭无泪了。

唉。
不是说我不帮女的说话。
只是有些女的真的事太不讲理了 ><
女生嘛。最有用的武器真的是撒娇。
少发点脾气也对自己好。
不要老是无理取闹嘛。。
呵呵

不好意思。。。
最近看太多台湾的那些talk shows.
让我有感而发。。。^^"

大家假期还过得愉快吗？

2007 -> 2008

Hey peeps~

2008 is finally here!! How was your 2007?
I have to say, my 2007 was filled with all sorts of emotions.
Everything seemed to happen so quickly.
One thing triggered another and it rolled into a snowball.
Blah.

BUT. All bad things are somehow accompanied by good things.
Maybe that's how things are balanced in life.

Loss of some friends but I gained a few good ones at the same time.
My heart broke but that's how I found him. Good things always happen when you least expect it huh.

I got to travel to quite a few places, tried out some pretty good food, saw some pretty interesting stuff.

Things went up and down, up and down.
But then again. What can I complain about?
These things are what makes life interesting right?
You have to lose some in order to gain.

Although, these dramatic things are what makes life interesting.
I do hope I can go through 2008 with less drama ;p.

Hope all is well with everyone ^^

无常的人生

我又再次了体验到人生的无常。
人生充满了一大对的惊喜。
计划的再好也可能会因为一件事情的发生而无法进行。

我已经记不起最后一次见你是几时的时候了。
是3年前？2年前？
我们一直以来都不太close.
可是我知道你一直都很关心我们。
听到你跌倒的消息后我一直以为你很快会好起来。
怎么知道前几个星期接到你的消息后才知道原来那么严重。

前几天，你走了。

对不起。一直以来我什么都没做过。

人都会这样吧。
都会把一个人的存在当作是理所当然的事。

唉。。。

人生啊。。。

外婆。。。
请你走好。。。
You'll be missed by lots of people





Sadly, these are one of the only pics that I have of Grandma... =(

请大家好好珍惜身边的人。。。

=)

与其后悔什么也没做
不如尝试后失败反而更好。

什么都不做
比做了失败还要失败。

我觉得这两句话说得很对。我们很多人想做一样事情的时候都会怕会失败。所以会在哪里想，该怎么做，成功的几率有多高，失败的话会怎样，之类的。想下想下，机会就可能走掉了。然后我们就在哪里想如果这个如果哪个。

想做的话就应该去做~
失败了就重新来过吧。

愿望

如果有一天，有一个人走来跟你说，
我有能力给你一个愿望，什么愿望都可以。
你会许个什么样的愿望呢？
金钱？美貌？权力？智慧？
你会许个什么样的愿望呢？

如果许了任何一样事情，
你整个人生都会变得不一样吧。
可是你会不会受不起着整个不一样的人生呢？
会不会因为太不一样，
之后，
整个人就消失了呢？

知道知道。
又想太多了啦。^^"
如果你得到了一个愿望，你会想要什么呢？